Paparazzi in Muttgaritaville!

If you're looking to pamper your dog and have them chased by the paparazzi instead of just chasing their tails there is a new site on the web. I say new, newly discovered might be more apropos. In a few simple clicks you can turn you're families best friend into the star of the show. Paris Hilton would be proud to put Tinkerbell in a velour tracksuit and let her sip "Muttgarita's" on a patio in Beverly Hills!

I know I've got some dog loving friends that would be interested in the vanity collars, Jimmy "Chews" plush toys and a nice big "Sniffany & Co." blue box pillow for their little buddies.

I personally am waiting for the gun toting camo line for my dog. I'm not sure I could make him wear a pink collar, he might get mad and not hunt any longer.

It's a competitive market out there for Dog accessories, but Fleur de Pup has some interesting things for, in the words of Brad Paisley from I'm Still a Guy "your sissy dog".

Check out the site, buy your pup something nice and let Fleur de Pup donate to the humane society. Even those pets lost deserve a nice present. I say this year instead of adopting an angel, we all adopt a pet! They may not be as grateful for the gifts, but they sure love the attention.

Foreclosures Increase the Threat of West Nile Virus

Yes, this blog is called Nonsensical Ramblings, but this one has some meat to it.

The increase in foreclosures and the slow movement of the housing market are leaving pools abandoned and unmaintained, thus an increase in Mosquito breeding. Mosquito's carry the West Nile virus, just in case you've been under a rock for the last few years.

There are several stories out about it...

ABC News
Pestworld Press Release

..and the list goes on.

One interesting story was in The Wall Street Journal this morning, but I haven't found it online yet. Yeah, I do still read print articles. Amazing isn't it?

The Gambusia affinis is being used in California to keep the mosquitos down and keep the city cost for extermination and pesticide spraying down. That's probably one of the best ideas to come out of California in a while!

Warming up the boys!

I've been going to the gym just about every morning during the week and working out. I know, great news right! I'm starting to see some results. 2 months in I've dropped about 20 lbs and can see muscles through the fat now! Enough about me, let's move on to this past Monday....

...5:30 in the morning is f-ing early! I do it though. I get out of bed lazily, call my work out partner to get his butt out of bed and I head to L.A. Fitness for my daily self-abuse. This was an ordinary Monday. A weekend of eating like crap made me feel a little guilty so I sprung up and headed out a little quicker than usual. I got to the gym, rounded the corner into the locker room to empty my pockets and such and there it was, one of the most disturbing and puzzling things I've seen.

For anyone who goes to the gym and enters the locker room, it's no shock to see a naked dude walking around the locker room with his Johnson swinging. Us guys have all seen the old guy who's not bashful walking around drying his hair with a towel, coin purse dragging the ground and whistling Dixie as he struts, but these are all everyday things. It's also not unusual or odd to see a guy using a hairdryer, but I must go on and share with you...

Have you ever seen the unabashed old man bent at the knees with a hair dryer in each hand warming up the noodles?

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe he was just drying the pubes, or, or, well, I can't explain it. I have no excuse for a man to stand with bent knees and a hair dryer in each hand pumping hot air onto the twig and berries. I do know it was and is not something I care to start my day off with. I think I'll just hit snooze one extra time!

Improving Your Search Rankings With SEO Pixie Dust [video]

Funny video on using magical SEO pixie dust to improve search rankings.

read more | digg story

Karaoke Madness at Quarter Bar

Spring break was last week, that means no kids and I get to socialize during the week. Sarah told me about Thursday karaoke at Quarter Bar in Addison so we made plans to go. Some of Sarah's friends joined us at first, and later a few of my friends joined to partake in the excitement. I know, this sounds boring, and I might be losing you, but bear with me.

Thursday night karaoke is chocked full of excitment. First off, there is a small group that comes in who are half emo half theatre junkie. Needless to say they turn each song intoa performance. There was a very special rendition of "Springtime in Germany for Hitler" by a guy who resembles an angry black eyeliner wearing emo goth creature that dwells in dimly lit places waiting to prey upon cockroaches and rats. I should have got a picture, but I missed my chance on this one. Maybe another time. We also dealt with the nerdy fat bad skinned guy who was "smoking" to be cool. He would take a drag from a Marlboro Red and blow it right back out without inhaling. It was a horrendous odor and left my sinuses clogged up for 2 days.

The best of all, the one that had us laughing so hard we cried and caused me to break out the cell phone for video was glorious. A young black guy, mid-twenties maybe gets on stage. We watch the credits roll, "Pussy Control" by Prince. I'm sure you may have heard the song, the outlandish wails by Prince that transgress into song lyrics and into a sort of rap. It's a great beat, energetic, but enough about the song. The guy has on gym shorts, a black wife beater, and a face mask on his head. From the second the song starts it's apparent he has no clue how the song or lyrics go. We laugh a little, but when he gets wound up the light laughter becomes roars and fits of belly laughs and tears. I can't do it justice in words, so here's the video...

I apologize for the audio being poor, but it was from my cell phone in the bar. What you are hearing is the "AHHHHHHH" wailing of the singer and then him screaming "PUSSY CONTROL" His gyrationand humping the ground sealed the deal on the most hilarious karaoke moment I've ever seen. We all agreed that it was one of the funniest moments in quite a while.

Princeton Premier Nomination

It is apparent that I am a standout in my industry! Check out this nomination I received.

Michael Clark,

It is my pleasure to inform you that you are being considered for inclusion into the 2008-2009 Princeton Premier Business Leaders and Professionals "Honors Edition" section of the Registry.

The 2008 / 2009 edition of the Registry will include biographies of the world's most accomplished individuals. Recognition of this kind is an honor shared by thousands of executives and professionals throughout the world each year. Inclusion is considered by many as the single highest mark of achievement.

You may access our application form using the following link:

http://app.formassembly.com/forms/view/11970

Upon final confirmation, you will be listed among other accomplished individuals in the Princeton Premier Registry.

For accuracy and publication deadlines, please complete your application form and return it to us within five business days. There is no cost to be included in the Registry.

On behalf of the Managing Director, we wish you continued success.

Sincerely,

Jason Harris

Managing Director
Princeton Premier

What an honor to be recognized by Princeton! Oh wait, you're not from Princeton. You mean you're just using that name to falsely establish recognition? Well I guess, but what does this nomination mean?

You want to publish my name in a book. That's excellent, is it like McRae's? No, what about Redbook? It's primarily online. That could be ok, the internet is the fastest growing marketplace and the information superhighway! You want me to pay you for the nomination? That sounds like bribery! I don't think winners of the Nobel prize are required to give kickbacks for that prestigious award, but I could be wrong. I've never been nominated for one myself.

I think I'll pass on the "nomination", but thank you for the consideration.

The cross we bear.

This was sent to me and I thought it was great and definitely worth sharing. Enjoy!

Awesome!! We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize
it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we can't.

Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;
But God's always ready, to answer your call....

He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
a word from His lips, can calm every fear...

Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, dawn's early light...

The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,
to give you His grace, and send you His love...

I'm a dork!

I like to play stupid online games when I'm bored and this one is my latest addiction. Try it and have fun.

Caveman Save your girlfriend from the evil prehistoric monsters!

Play this free game now!!

German Invents 'Spray-On' Condom to Fit All Sizes

Those crazy German's! I know, the picture is a little scary, but it's all in the name of scientific research.

Read the article here.

I'm a little upset I didn't think of it first and patent the idea first. I think it's amazing technology, but yes, the hissing and drying time might be a deal killer. Despite the setbacks I think it is the condom of the future. In fact, I've come up with a marketing plan to place dispenser in every truckstop and gay bar bathroom in the US. The price will be slightly higher than that of traditional prophylactics, and you will have to stand in the bathroom against the dispenser like a glory hole, but overall it should be a hot ticket item for next year! I'm all for safe sex and the prevention of STD's being spread. I do wonder how it will work for individuals. The machine is not going to fit in your wallet and leave the wear ring that adolescent boys show off as a badge of honor to their friends, instead they'll have to revert to fanny packs with a thermos inside that is secretly hiding the tools of their promiscuous trade.

What will be thought of next? I hear virtual sex is making huge advancements. One day we may be so detached as a society that real sex goes away. Will that be the fall of the human race or will it be like Idiocracy and only the dumb will breed?

Just thoughts to ponder. Check out the video demo of the spray on condom at YouTube

It's a Catholic Thing, You Wouldn't understand

I was driving in to work this morning and saw one of those Jeep stickers, "It's a Jeep thing you wouldn't understand". I've never found much humor in the sticker, typically it's on a factory Jeep with street tires that has never really seen dirt. The driver stalled it out and had to restart the engine while trying to leave the stop light. It made me giggle a little and think to myself "Jeep this!" I know, way off subject, but I was just giving some silly background on the title. Truth be told I'm addressing a much more serious issue.

Check out this news report:

Associated Press - November 12, 2007 4:13 PM ET

MILWAUKEE (AP) - A 79-year-old Roman Catholic nun has pleaded no contest to indecent behavior with two male students during the 1960s at a Milwaukee convent and school where she was principal.

Norma Giannini faces up to 10 years in prison on each count when she's sentenced February 1st.

Her accusers said they had dozens of sexual encounters with Giannini, including intercourse.

The nun went on to work in Illinois from 1970 to 1994.

The regional president for the Sisters of Mercy says Gianini received extensive counseling after the order learned of the situation during the 1990s and has been kept away from minors since then.

I have a hard time with churches in some cases. I have found some of the most faithful church goers are some of the biggest hypocrites. I can't say that I live my life exactly as I should, but for the most part I try.

I've recently been visiting different churches on the weekend to find a place where I fit in and don't feel overwhelmed with fake people. Where there is a genuine atmosphere of faith, hope, prayer and a drive to live a stand up life. Some would say you must live by the book and worship, others would say just be a good person, I say, do what you think is right for your beliefs no matter what they may be.

I've come to the conclusion that I have no desire to visit a Catholic church. My son would not be safe around the Priests or the Nuns. I guess it's a Catholic thing that I just don't understand. Then again, maybe I have no desire to understand pedophiles!