I know I haven't written anything in a while. Usually when I do, it's because I have something to say or a situation/story has brought itself about and I seek input.
Last night I was watching Primtime on ABC and they had on a series they are doing called Outsiders. The first section was about swingers which I think is odd, but fascinating. I don't find it odd that these couples can remove any correlation between sex and emotion and have a good time with mulitple partners. In fact, I think all of us have done that before, it's called dating. Just typically we're not sharing. Enough about swingers, I'll get into all of that at another time. What really shocked me was the "Asexual movement"
Asexual is commonly accepted as a term for not having sexual organs, or in nature is and science is also referred to as agamogenesis only requiring one parent for reproduction. The third definition is the one being referenced though....
....lacking interest in or desire for sex.
I listened to the stories of several members of this asexual movement that express their lack of need for sex and that they do not feel it is important in life. I tried to keep an open mind while watching what I would deem as undesirable sexual partners express all of their feelings about it. One guy was married for 4 years and only had sex a handful of times, one lady married for 7 years and never had sex, a young couple in their early 20's about to get married and had no desire for sex. The girl here mentioning that she grew up thinking she was lesbian because she was not attracted to men. She tried women and didn't enjoy it, now found a man that supported her in her decision to not have sex....EVER.
I had to think about that for a second and then it hit me....YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING CRAZY! Two of the guys including the one who was married were setting off homo alarms left and right. Guys, you're closet gay, and it's ok that you're gay, just come out and let the world know, carry on your life and stop this bullshit movement.
Humans are born with only two instincts, survival and procreation. By being born with such a simple plan for life we are designed to eat drink and be merry, fornicate, reproduce and die. I ask anyone out there to tell me if there are any other instincts or reasons that you think procreation is not a neccesity in life.
We asa society have been raised and taught many different things about sex. Sex is more mainstream now than ever.We see it everywhere but to get back to the animalistic nature of it, guys, did you get your first hard on because you were attracted to the appearance of a particular person? No, it came at random. Babies get hard ons even though they have not yet been conditioned to find "sex appeal" in any particular person or group of people.
How could any person deem themselves asexual and state that sex is not required to live a full and rewarding life? No kids? That has been one of the biggest rewards of my life so far. Ee're all adults here (well, maybe not on myspace, but in this blog) sex is a guilty pleasure that all of us have. Someone out there who does not at all enjoy sex, please chime in and explain why so that I might understand all of this. Oh, and here's the website for the Asexual Visibility and Education Network.
Update on the couple that was getting married, they had sex, they liked it, the're probably going to do it again!
It's people like you, who believe they are open-minded but are actually not capable of understanding that others could experience the world differently, that make the lives of real asexuals difficult. I've had to deal with many persistent pains in the neck that couldn't take a hint in the past few years. Not interested means not interested.
ReplyDeleteNo, it does not mean hard to get, or traumatized, or lacking of self-confidence, or any of that bs.
But I'll try to clarify, probably in vain as it has been for every other person who has reacted like you have.
I'm a girl, and also a tomboy, growing up. I had friends of both genders, and until preteens started, I could enjoy both. However, when other girls started to get interested in boys, I didn't get it; all of a sudden, they were talking about things I wasn't interested in, ALL THE TIME. It was not sexual conversation or anything like that- I was in a pretty innocent environment. Or maybe I only started understanding what the hell people were talking about a few years ago, and so lacked the vocabulary to get what they were saying. But anyways, I kind of got bored of my friends who were girls, because I just couldn't become interested in their romance stuff. I expressed worry to my parents about not being interested in boys like everyone else. My parents told me that some day, I would be interested.
Begin teenage years- old friendships with girls are still there, and they have come to an understanding that I'm not interested, and completely understand that I'm asexual. They act normal around me, and cut down on the boyfriend/gossip/whatever talk whenever I'm around, but not so much to make it awkward. Well, we're friends, we know each other. I figure I might be asexual. My parents tell me that some day I'll like someone.
Middle teenage years- a very close friend I had turns out to be a lesbian, progressively creeps me out with her attachment to me, and I cut ties with her to avoid her getting angry at me all the time. It had become a little unreasonable. I still haven't ever had any crushes or sex dreams or whatever all these other people tend to talk about. I tell my parents. They tell me that some day I'll like someone. They also start getting desperate and trying to pretend I like every single male I play video games or go group outing with. Which is pretty unreasonable as well, and makes me have to act unnaturally cold to my friends when they're around to avoid any embarrassment. I am annoyed out of my mind.
Today, well, it seems I still haven't developed any interest in relationships, and I still think that romance isn't real because it just seems so illogical to me, just like asexuality seems illogical to you. My parents are still being desperate and trying to make me think of guys more often. I'm just wishing that I wasn't asexual because of all of the financial benefits having a roommate for life would create. My friends tell me I obviously don't get it, haha. Either way, romance is a fluke in my world, with no meaning or anything to explain it except for people's weird hobbies.
Did I mention the 4 guys and 2 stalkers I've had to reject? The stalkers were horrible, and caused me a great deal of fear and stress in my life. I still don't know if I got rid of them totally. They keep trying to talk to me again even if I've told them that they've lost any right to my friendship due to their disrespect. I also haven't spoken a single phrase back to them no matter how often they try to talk to me. Every time one of them is waiting for me at a doorway or somewhere, I'm seriously afraid they're carrying a knife or something. But anyways, I've gotten off topic.
According to AVEN, there are many kinds of asexuals. There is the kind that call themselves "romantic" asexuals, for example. But I don't really understand that, since, well, romance just doesn't look like something people actually need or want to me. Romance doesn't even exist, from my point of view. It's just a self-satisfying illusion that people like to trick themselves into believing.
So I'm an "aromantic asexual". No matter how much I try, I can't develop any attachment beyond friendship to a person. When people have any attachment beyond friendship, I see it as some kind of insane, unnatural obsession. It's baffling to me.
So, although you might finds asexuals baffling and impossible, some of them, such as me, will believe the same thing about you. see you exactly the same way. We percieve the world differently, so drastically that we can't ever hope to understand each other. Just accept that there are different people- THE KIND YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND- in this world. You've accepted that pedophiles exist, right? Everyone knows they exist, and yet a normal person doesn't understand how the hell a pedophile comes to be, why the hell they do the things they do, and all that. So you've been doing it all along. Why not accept that asexuals exist as well?
Sure, okay, so I'm classifying different kinds of minds as insanities. But from my point of view, I'm the sanest person in my entire environment. I'm the one who acts rationally in every situation, and who is always calm and confident, and who knows who they are (did I mention I've never had an identity crisis?), unlike all the insecure people who don't have a goal in life and who don't know what they're doing around me. Those who know me never doubt me. It's only those who don't know me and who fail to accept that they couldn't understand me that will end up going to the top of my most hated list, since they'll keep chasing me around and disrespecting my wishes all the while insulting me by implying that I'm wrong and that I lie about myself or whatever.
I don't need a "sexual relationship", whatever that may be. I don't get it.
You think all people need a "sexual relationship". You don't get it that some people don't.
There we go, those are the facts, now let's stop trying to understand each other, just believe what the other says about themselves, and all get along. That's how the world goes 'round. Thank you.
You, sir, are the joke. Just because you don't understand something you have to categorize it as stupid/inexistent?
ReplyDeleteYou don't feel it, you don't live with it, SO YOU DON'T GET TO GIVE YOUR OPINION WITHOUT INFORMATION. Being asexual doesn't necessarily mean you don't enjoy or are repulsed by sex (which can happen); it means you just don't care about it and don't feel sexual attraction. As an asexual person, I am aware that sex exists, but I often forget about it in my daily life because it's simply not an important issue to me. I even fell in love but never once felt the need to sleep with the guy. The idea was completely outrageous to me...why would I want to do something like that? So yeah, I really hope you have the common sense to get your facts together the next time you decide to spew senseless bs; at least instead of a moron you'll be just a jerk.
If we have sexuality due to the instinct to procreate why are their gay people? Rethink your argument.
ReplyDelete